After possibly the most hyped up derby in Premier League history, we now have an initial indication of whose City Manchester is… For now at least. But let me tell you, this war is far from over. United’s world record transfer Paul Pogba (£100m) had a quiet and insignificant game, despite wearing new custom Pogbooms (AKA Adidas ACE 16+ PureControls).

Highlights from the Manchester derby

There were stories coming out from all over the place, only adding to the drama and tension of this battle. Pep vs Mourinho, two men who played alongside one another at Barcelona, but were fierce rivals in La Liga after managing Barcelona and Real Madrid respectively over the same time period.

Ibra was facing Pep’s side, and the Swede has spoken about his former manager saying that he was basically spineless, couldn’t control the dressing room and was nothing compared to Mourinho.

The game was as exciting and frantic as ever, with City commanding the first half. Their superiority showed as Kevin De Bruyne, loser of the now infamous Euro Boot Battle, raced passed United’s flimsy-looking defence. As he bore down on David De Gea, the Spaniard committed himself early and De Bruyne slotted it coolly into the opposite corner.

United couldn’t get into the game at this point, and City’s goalscorer was causing more trouble for De Gea. The Belgian had a shot which rebounded off the post and fell to Nigerian Kelechi Iheanacho who tapped in simply to make it 2-0.

Three minutes before the end of the half, City’s fantastic performance was tarnished by a shocking mistake by new signing Claudio Bravo on his debut. He failed to collect a ball that he travelled 12 yards to claim and as a result it fell to Zlatan Ibrahimovic. The Swede maintained his impressive scoring record in England by volleying the ball into the Bravo-less net.

Even my mum could have foreseen goals in the second half, and it looked like a solid prophecy as prodigy Marcus Rashford fired a shot in the net. However, it was rightly rules out for offside, as Ibra had got a nick to it on its way to the goal. Correct decision.

City almost finished the game off when De Bruyne, yet again in the thick of it, latched onto a pass in the box and swept a right-footed shot on goal. De Gea was beaten but his effort rebounded off the near post and eventually went out for a goal kick just passed the opposite post. United got very lucky!

Guardiola’s City held on to record an historic victory in a new era for Manc football. It leaves them top of the table with a 100% record on 12 points, with a Champions League tie at home to Borussia Monchengladbach to look forward to on Tuesday night. United remain third on nine points and travel to Watford, who shockingly beat West Ham 2-4 on Saturday, this Sunday.

No one can find Pogba

Paul Pogba goes missing in his new Pogbooms as City win the Manchester derby

As for Adidas’ Paul Pogba, a man who cost the equivalent of 400,000,000 Freddos or 2,000,000,000 Freddos back when inflation didn’t kill all the joy in the world, he is still to light up the Premier League the way a £100 million signing would be expected to. The Frenchman is without even an assist to his name. Maybe he needs to go on a gap year to Thailand to really find himself and workout just who Paul really is. Oh well, at least he has some pretty sexy football boots!

Pogba gets trolled by Twitter after his invisible performance

Anyone else forget Pogba was playing?

— RyRob (@RyRobBDA) September 10, 2016

In all honesty Pogba was a bargain…having another great game! He is absolutely everywhere! #workrate #sarcasm

— MrLuvvaLuvva (@Mr_Luvva_Luvva) September 10, 2016

@nizaarkinsella pogba 2 hairstyles, 0 goals, 0 assists

— Gotoh Kudakwashe (@GotohKay) September 10, 2016

Looking for Pogba in this game… #ManchesterDerby pic.twitter.com/Bbalx9jnfo

— Ladbrokes (@Ladbrokes) September 10, 2016

Great to see Paul Pogba do an impression of the invisible man. Mesut Ozil would be proud.

— Shivchenko (@shivamLM) September 10, 2016

@Chelsea_HQ getting a haircut

— ChelseaNews (@Metaxa1G) September 10, 2016

MISSING: Paul Pogba. Please return to Old Trafford. £100m reward… pic.twitter.com/EoHxIHyTAv

— Footy Humour (@FootyHumour) September 10, 2016