When it comes to football transfers, we all know the real winners are the agents. Those pristine-looking, jacket-wearing rich fellas with slicked back hair who wear sunglasses hanging from their shirt even though the sun, it seems, has not shone brightly since 2011. For these men act busy, fake importance and strut their stuff for a couple of days a year, and go home with hefty paychecks: WINNING. But with the latest rounds of footy trasnfers, which clubs have done good business? And which have left supporters fearing the worst?
The winners and losers of September 2017s football transfers
Winner PSG
As if having Edison Cavani and Angel Di Maria in attack wasn’t good enough, PSG have flexed their proverbial muscles and dipped into their deep pockets to sign two of the most expensive footballers in history… And they’re both English! Only kidding. We produce players like Raheem Sterling and Theo Walcott, hype them up when they are young and then watch their demise before they have even risen as they disintegrate into nothingness.
Anyway, the French side have signed Kylian Mbappe from Monaco on loan, with the ‘option to buy’ for £166m next year. UEFA and their financial fair play are not too happy about PSG using this loophole to violently exploit and abuse the ruling that clubs must break even when it comes to spending, but hey, they’re rich so who cares.
They also bought Neymar for £198m from Barca, and this one had no dodgy loans or suspicious stipulations in the contract.
Other Winners: Liverpool, Man United
As well as that Ox transfer, the Reds also bought Mo Salah to bolster their attack. Many feel this is the year Klopp will assert his power at Anfield and fire Liverpool back into the glory days.
United also had a decent window, securing both Nemanja Matic and Romelu Lukaku early on. Both signings have flourished as United begin the season with a perfect record.
Loser Arsenal
Arsenal have lost massively. They are a 1-0 loss at home to Bournemouth next week away from their fans literally burning the Emirates to the ground as. Meanwhile, Robbie and Arsenal Fan TV are doing great.
They started well, signing Alexandre Lacazette and the defender who has a long and confusing name. Since then though, Sanchez wanted to leave and even told his Chilean mates he was gone, only to find out that Arsenal’s pursuit of Monaco’s Lemar had broken down and so he was staying.
Despite not welcoming too many new faces, they have let a fair few go. Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain is the biggest name to depart, he did so by giving the Gooners a big middle finger by accepting a less lucrative contract at rivals Liverpool, oh dear.
Other losers: Man City, Chelsea
Everyone is waiting for City to begin to dominate English football. They have the money, they have the coach, they even have the players. But it isn’t quite working at the moment, and they’re failure to sign Alexis Sanchez may have an adverse effect on them this season, as they made few other meaningful purchases.
Chelsea equally had a shocker, with Ross Barkley unbelievably turning them down mid-medical, and failing to sign pretty much everyone who they wanted to sign. Alvaro Morata did arrive at Stamford Bridge, but he has struggled to excel in the Premier League thus far… Now the Blues are stuck with problem child Diego Costa.
