2018 was a great year for football. England made it to the World Cup Semi-Final in what was the hottest summer since the dawn of time. Gareth Southgate’s waistcoat. George Ezra’s shotgun. Sun blazing. Dreaming of football coming home. What a bloody summer that was!
Now 2019 has also been a great year for football. England’s women’s team made it to the World Cup Semi-Final in what was the most disappointingly chilly summer since the dawn of time. The Lionesses. Taylor Swift’s ME. Dreaming of football coming home.
So without further ado, let’s take a look back at what happened in the world of football in 2019…as told through our favourite emojis. We’ll go through everything from funny, to sickening to absolute crap. And all those in-between!
Review of football in 2019 as told through emojis
? Laughing – Manchester United
Unless you’re a United fan. What a bundle of LOLs they’ve given us this year. Ever since they won in the Champions League last 16 against PSG, a win that was gifted to them by VAR anyway. Man United have been an absolute laughing stock for most football fans that don’t wear the badge. After so many years of being a dominant force in English football we all deserve to have a laugh at them.
As general football fans we don’t want to see anyone fail. We don’t like to see people lose their jobs. But it’s the harsh reality of the game. And for all their success, seeing United struggling all year has been bloody wonderful. Those poor fans, 20 odd years of success, finally suffering. We love to see it and I’m sure most of you do too!
? Trophy – Tottenham
This year we’re awarding Tottenham our trophy emoji. Why? Because, let’s be honest, they aren’t going to win one are they? The last 5 years have been a glory period for Spurs. The growth has peaked this year, Spurs reaching the Champions League final for the first time ever! They’ve reached the heights they could only dream of! And they’ve still won absolutely diddly squat. The FBG 5 a side team has won as many trophies as Spurs in that time. 0.
United have been a laughing stock in all that time and still have more trophies. Arsenal have been dreadful, but have more trophies. Chelsea have won the league for goodness sake! And let’s not even start on City and Liverpool. We couldn’t let the Spurs go another year with no trophies could we? So here you are, the Tottenham glory days have finally got them a trophy! 2019 Football Boots Guru Trophy Winner – Tottenham Hotspurs.
? Fire – Fashion/throwback football kits
There’s been some absolute fire collaborations in football kits this year. Juventus ft Palace (not Crystal Palace…), Real Madrid ft EA Sports and PSG ft Jordan. All beautiful kits that have been designed to be worn anywhere from the street to the pitch.
There has also been a number of throwback kits that are a bit shifty but still very nice depending on how brave your style is. We’re all blacks, greys and dark blues. But we can still appreciate the beauty of a good throwback shirt like Arsenal’s bruised banana or their rivals Tottenham’s 90’s inspired 3rd shirt. And have you seen Barcelona 3rd kit?! The teal design takes its design from the 96/97 season and we think this is one of the best looking kits out there!
? Sick – Racism
We could’ve gone either way with the sick emoji, good sick or bad sick. We think it’s appropriate that we go with bad sick here and get serious for once in our lives.
The racist abuse that has been happening all over the world this year has been sickening. There is no place for it anywhere, including football. England vs Bulgaria was paused and almost abandoned. Balotelli suffered abuse in Italy, with his own chairman not even backing him. We aren’t even innocent in England with plenty of allegations flying around.
2019 has been a year when the abuse has been highlighted more than ever but there has been very little attempt to put a stop to it. UEFA and FIFA dish out petty fines that make absolutely no difference. How’s about banning a team from tournaments for repeated offences? Or forfeiting matches at least. Until all governing bodies start to get hard on racism, it’s hard to see it stopping.
? Eyes – key players
Joao Felix, Kylian M’Bappe, Mathjis De Ligt, Ansu Fati, Rodrygo, Erling Haland, Phil Foden (we hope), Jadon Sancho (likewise). Keep your eyes on these players. All under the age of 21! We think that these are some of the top players, one of which could take over Messi or Ronaldo’s mantelpiece and dominate the Ballon D’or in the future.
Of course, there’s bound to be some left-field player who pops up and is suddenly unbelievable. Almost like Van Dijk, decent at Celtic, pretty good at Southampton. And then all of a sudden ridiculous at Liverpool, transforming their leaky defence and popping up with a few goals as well! Coming in at 2nd in this year’s Ballon D’or, ahead of Cristiano Ronaldo in 3rd!
Anyway if you’re looking for a future winner that pot of players can’t be far off! And if you’re a fan of football manager assemble a team with a few of these and you’ll dominate for years!
? Eek – Waggate
The moment Coleen Rooney said those fateful words… ‘It’s…… Rebecca Vardy’s account’. That moment had us all feeling a bit eek. This emoji describes the moment perfectly! But while we were all feeling a bit eek, we were all loving it! How could you not! As Pam from Gavin & Stacey once said ‘it’s the drama Mick, I just love it!’ and this was possibly the most dramatic moment of the year. More entertaining than the Champions League final that’s for sure! It had us all talking for hours on end, waiting for a response, hoping Wayne or Jamie would weigh in. None of that materialised but it’s one of our top events to look out for in 2020.
? Heart Eyes – Son Heung-Min
If ever an emoji could describe the nation’s feelings for one man, this is it. Son Heung-Min is just that guy. You can’t help but love him! Whether you are a Spurs fan or a South Korea fan. He is just the most lovable guy. Always happy and smiling. Not afraid to show his emotion as he did after South Korea’s Asia Cup win. Even Mourinho, typically cold and emotionless, has apparently said that he loves Son, after just 2 weeks in the job. He’s also not a bad footballer. Which is a Brucey bonus for us fans who can appreciate a player whether they play for ‘our team’ or not.
? Thumbs Up – Social Media
Social media often gets a bad rap from a lot of people. It’s ruined our children (maybe a bit dramatic). But we think there are loads of positives and some have come through strongly in 2019. Before, when someone got slagged off by the tossers in the press and they couldn’t give their side of the story. Well social media has changed that. Raheem Sterling has spoken out on a number of issues. Gary Lineker is always calling out papers that print made up twisted tosh about him. Just the other day some Arsenal players were called out for ignoring a mascot. Only for a player to tweet pictures of the mascot in the changing room with all the players to show there is always two sides to every story.
? Shit – VAR
Before VAR was introduced, we were begging for it! There had been so many terrible refereeing decisions. They have a really hard job, keeping 22 prima donnas in check for 90 plus minute. While also trying to keep their overly aggressive managers calm. While trying to referee one of the fastest paced sports in the world. They’re entitled to some proper help. Not like the officials who stand behind the goal and are as much use as a chocolate teapot.
So VAR seemed to be the perfect aid. It was questionable but not terrible during the World Cup in 2018. But since its introduction to the Premier League, it has been absolute shite. Along with the new and downright confusing handball rule, VAR is causing havoc. You’d think 3 officials in a room would be able to come to the correct decision? But oh so often they still manage to get it wrong. Penalties for goodness knows what, handballs that could only be avoided by changing the laws of physics, all sorts of terrible decisions. It also creates mass confusion for fans who have so little info they just have to guess what is happening.
? Dicks – Politicians
Oh so many contenders. I think we all know what this emoji means and it could’ve gone to any number of people! This could be slightly controversially but were going political. We are going to sit firmly on the fence though, like the absolute bottle jobs we are. We aren’t going with one politician or even one party, we’re firmly neutral like the BBC. Dick of the year goes to all politicians. Has a politician ever answered the question they’re asked? I don’t think I have ever heard one. They’re about as concise as a child picking presents from the Argos catalogue at Christmas. Has any political party pleased everyone? Definitely not. They can’t even manage to please a high majority!
So they’re all evasive liars. They pretend to be the voice of the people but are so detached from real life we can’t even begin to imagine. Most of them privately educated and born into the elite. Yet they preach as if they care about anyone other than themselves. They don’t. Dicks.
